No Longer a Slave

{ Background music }

Fear. 

Fear is a big topic with me. I could probably write a book on the subject (the length of this blog will speak to this). Perhaps, one day I will. 

Unless fear gets a hold of me first.

Fear is an interesting fella. We welcome him into our lives as though he is some sort of authorized guard in a bullet proof vest, sent to protect us from harm. Armed with defense tools, training credentials in hand, and dressed to impress. While standing at attention, fear protects us. He keeps at a distance those things that would violate our boundaries, threaten our loved ones, and cause us pain.

Right?...

Oh, sweet friend, no.

We've got it oh, so wrong. And it's costing us greatly.

Fear is a thief in guard's clothing. And his credentials are lies. He manages to steal from us before we realize we have anything to take. And he does it with our permission. In fact, we employ him.  

I remember the first time I realized how manipulative fear was. I cannot tell you where I was or what I was doing. I only remember the clarity with which I was given. I remember identifying his ability to get us to take our eyes off of what was important, as if he held the remote control to our corneas. And he does it nobly. With justice on his sleeve and a badge of honor on his chest, as proof of the recognition he's received for past triumphs. He gets us to believe that our safety is when we are positioned behind him. And he offers his protection free of charge. 

How lucky for us. 

In Priscilla Shirer's book "One in a Million" (a Bible study that helped to radically challenge my faith), she describes an intimate scene outside a circus tent, where an elephant is tied to a pole with a single-link chain and two metal bolts. Out of the mouths of babes comes this pair of questions...

"Why doesn't he just escape? Doesn't he know he's strong enough to break the chain?"

If only.

You see, elephants are trained at an early age to not recognize their strength. By chaining elephants when they aren't strong enough to break the chain, it guarantees their captivity for life because they never come to realize that they have the power to actually set themselves free.

I believe the same is true about fear.

We learn early that fear has the ability to keep us from harm. We teach our children to fear things, with the confidence that we are training them to live long, safe lives. A busy street. A fire. A balcony. A sharp object. A dark alley. A stranger. Climbing on a roof. Playgrounds. Riding a bike (seriously...don't get me started). The list goes on and on. And when fear does his job, the list grows...beyond the realm of logical cautiousness...and becomes a never-ending scroll, like the music sheet inside a player piano.

When the list has no boundaries and can instantly be triggered simply by a media story, he knows he has done his job.

Like the chain around the elephant's ankle, fear grips us. Traps us. Holds us captive. We go from employer to slave in 2.5 seconds. Worse than this is the fact that we can live this way without even realizing we are trapped. It becomes our normal state. Denial. A false safety. I'll even go as far as to say that we are comfortable there.

We like it.

Fear doesn't have a physical hold on us, but the subconscious hold it has is far more dangerous.

From an early age, we've been taught that fear is a red flag that we should pay attention to. Easy enough to spot, once you get the hang of it. Then, every once in a while, we encounter someone who appears to have missed the warning. They move in spite of the red flag. Ignoring it, almost. Perhaps they are color blind. Did they think it was green?! Why aren't they taking proper precautions?!

What we fail to realize is that what we are witnessing is a person living without fear. It looks a little alien. Abnormal. Strange. 

"We aren't meant to live vicariously through the lives of others, but sometimes someone else's experience is the aroma that draws us to the table of life, so that we may experience the feast for ourselves." (I'm quoting myself)

This is something I came to realize a few years ago, as I witnessed my daughter take some major steps of faith towards her future...unaware of what, exactly, it was going to look like.

I beamed (as her mama).

I yearned (as a sister in Christ).

I cheered (as a lover of God).

It was glorious.  

Watching someone live fearlessly can be an aroma. As lovely as this sounds, the opposite can also be true. When we smell the aroma of fear, it can draw us to the table. Only instead of a table strewn with plates of delicatessens fit for a king and practically stacked to the ceiling, this table features a bounty of smelly, moldy leftovers.

Not the feast God intended us to partake in, sweet friends.

It's a trap. One that swallows our dreams, our hopes, and - ultimately - our purpose. 

Perhaps you've heard that there are 365 times in the Bible - one for each day of the year - where God addresses the topic and tells us to "fear not". From encouraging to commanding. While there is a bit of controversy over whether or not there are actually 365, the argument is moot. The reality is, you can cut the number in half and it still makes a good case for us to take the "fear not" words seriously. So what does "fear not" look like? I'm not an expert, but I can share with you a connection that I made recently.  

As with everything that comes out of this cavern brain of mine, there is a bit of a backstory... 

During a Wednesday evening lesson with a group of high school students, we were discussing the fear of God. Specifically, this..."The fear of God is the beginning of wisdom." Wisdom is something I think we can all agree we would like more of (or NEED more of, however you'd like to spin it). So if it begins with fearing God, what does that look like? I've heard some refer to fear as a "reverence" and as sound as this theology might be, I'm not shying away from the word "fear" for this discussion. We are going to stew in it for a moment. 

Fear God. 

If this statement causes some visceral reactions inside of you, you're not alone. That night, we were uncomfortable. Stirring in our seats. At one point, one of the students exclaimed, "This hurts my head" (I think the challenge to fear God and love God simultaneously was part of it).

If you really want to get an idea of what we sat in that night, you may want to pause and read some of these; Proverbs 1:7, Proverbs 8:13, Ecclesiastes 12:13, Proverbs 14:26, Job 28:28, Proverbs 14:27, Proverbs 3:7, Psalm 111:10, Psalm 34:9.

So now that you've (hopefully) stewed in it a bit, let's move to the next step. Here's where it gets complicated...or clear, rather (depending on your perspective)...

For some people, the idea of fearing God is one of the factors that keeps them from God. It's too hard to accept that there is a God that created all things and is asking that we fear Him...like some attention-driven, power-hungry mongrel. The sad thing is, they're missing the most important piece. It's a flipping upside-down tactic that Jesus was so good at. Perfect, in fact.

He mastered it.

The ability to take something sound and flip it on its head, while making the other side equally sound,  is perhaps one of the most beautiful things to me about Jesus' teachings. So here it is...

The fear of God is PRECISELY what allows us NOT to fear.

Are you with me? Did you hear that?

Perhaps God knew that in order for us to "not fear", we would need assurance. Someone to trust. Unfortunately, we're fearing the wrong thing. The fear that we are inclined to trust with our safety...that guard...is God. He is the one with the power to protect. The only one with the credentials. The other is a shady impersonator. And it is when our fear is properly aligned that we get to live a life without fear. When we grasp how big...how deep...how wide God's love is for us, alongside the fact that He is all-powerful, all-knowing, ever-present ....that is where we can rest....fearlessly. It's perhaps one of the greatest paradigm shifts that God invites us into.

"So do not be afraid. I am with you. Do not be terrified. I am your God. I will make you strong and help you. I will hold you safe in my hands. I always do what is right." Isaiah 41:10

It's as though God is saying, "Fear me....now go live...fearlessly." It's like we can't have one without the other.

"Don't worry. I've got this." (Can you hear Him saying this?!) As a parent, I can relate to this. I have, on many occasions, asked my children to trust me. Don't worry. I've got this. Go play. In order for my children to feel the freedom I'm encouraging them to experience, they have to trust me first. They have to understand the power in what I am offering.

Personally, I believe that in order to "go play", we have to address (and even visit) the past. Any suggestion that we have to avoid the past in order to move forward makes me want to take the "Put your past behind you" plaque and throw it on the ground, smashing it to pieces (it's a thing with me). Sure. We are moving forward. No looking in the rear-view mirror...right? But sometimes confronting the past is the fuel we need in order to move forward. Sometimes, the healing is in the past. Sometimes, epiphanies are there. Sometimes...the beauty is there. In the backstory. The reality is, the past can bring about regret. And truth be told, we'd prefer to avoid this topic.  

"Fear is a thief. It robbed Peter of a perfectly good walk on water, & kept the other eleven in the boat." -Bill Johnson 

I wonder if Peter and the other disciples experienced regret. Regret not moving. Regret not trusting. Not believing. When I rest in this for a moment, it stirs me to confront fear head-on. Fists up. It's an ugly MMA fight, at times, with hair flying and blood splattering up against the cage. Not pretty. But in my core, I know it's worth it. 

For me, regret is the price that fear has cost me (and he told me it would be free...pffft).  

There's a wonderful video that sheds light on regret. While we might typically think that regret has more to do with things we wish we HADN'T done, the experiment demonstrates that the opposite just might be true. That our true regret lies deep within the things we wish we HAD done.

I'm convinced fear plays the leading role in this scene. Masked, perhaps, but he's there. Impersonating a hero, I'm sure. And his influence is evident when we pause for a moment to take a look back.

"If I had not allowed fear in...."

• I would have gotten out of the house more
• I would have apologized more
• I would have stepped into that relationship
• I would have stepped out of that relationship 
• I would have talked to my children more about our brokenness
• I would have taken that trip
• I would have gotten into the pit with my friend
• I would have gone back to school
• I would have opened my heart
• I would have let go of my grip
• I would have started writing

Sometimes fighting fear involves identifying the thief and then crossing out his lies, one at a time. And starting a new list...

"Because I choose to fear God and rest in His assurance..."

• I am no longer a slave